A Rough Start

I had what I thought would be a simple article drafted for this month and then as I started to flush things out, things got really, really complicated. Complicated by my neurodivergence, as I researched more and more elements of what I was writing about and ultimately, I ground to a halt.

Then I started to lowkey panic about what I was going to write about—it was almost the end of the month and it messes with my routine of:
Week 1: mental preparation
Week 2: jot down some notes
Week 3: write a rough draft
Week 4: refine and publish

I hate it when my plans get foiled.

Finding Focus (and Pancaking)

But then I remembered a topic that I’d thought about previously and how it was actually quasi- related to my mini-literary crisis. I call it pancake position, and some of my clients have heard me speak about it before.

Pancake position is a term I thought I had made up, which is my adaptive response to nervous system overstimulation. (In googling this term I learned that it’s also the name for a yoga pose which is a very different body position). Pancake position, my version, is really just as it sounds:

• Find a surface like a long couch, bed or floor
• Lie down
• Close your eyes or look at something peaceful (such as a tree out a window)
• Stay in position until your brain starts to feel functional again

This is a very low-tech, simplistic measure that can also be customized depending on needs. Examples include:

• Adding noise cancelling headphones for extra quiet, music, binaural beats a podcast or audio book
• Adding an eye mask or conversely, gazing at something interesting
• Putting on a diffuser, spritzing some room spray before lying down or peeling citrus for a calming scent
• Adding a blanket (weighted or non)

As alluded to above, my version of pancake position—hence the name—involves lying completely flat (or maybe with a small supportive pillow). I also like a surface that’s not too soft so that I can get more of a sense of my vertebrae relaxing, one by one. Whether they actually do that, I’m not sure, but it makes me feel relaxed to imagine that.

Recognizing The Need

Sometimes when I’m pancaking I realize that I’m actually really thirsty or maybe even hungry and if energy allows, I get up and get a glass of water, or tea, if available. Or if there’s a supportive person around, I may even ask if they can bring me something to eat or drink. Ideally I clue in to get a snack or drink before I lie down but that’s not always possible. Same goes for remembering to get headphones or any other relaxation tools. I find that it often takes the lying down to recognize the need.

And while I’m lying in position, my thoughts tend to wander, sometimes detecting what got me needing to lie down in the first place. While it’s usually always related to being generally overstimulated, I sometimes like to break this down further to discern what is overstimulating or overwhelming me, which, after some time gets a little predictable:

• Wearing my work backpack and walking from my downtown office to the Skytrain, and then walking home. Overstimulation triggers: downtown and urban pedestrian traffic, vehicle traffic, sirens, rapidly changing visual stimulation, time of day (worse at rush hour), temperature (worse in summer), mental fatigue, crowded and noisy Skytrain including whether or not a seat is available, physical exertion in walking, weight of backpack, time pressure. Predicted pancake time: 30-60 minutes
• Going to a grocery store or another type of store. Overstimulation/mental preparation triggers: level of busyness. , size of store, familiarity with store, having to find a variety of items in different locations, checking prices and expiration dates, remembering to bring a bag, items not being available and possibly having to change dinner plans. Predicted pancake time: 30 minutes, with an increase in pancaking if multiple stores are involved
• Driving – Overstimulation triggers: general dislike of driving, whether I have been to the location before, level of traffic, complication of route, length of the drive, whether it involves highways or freeways, whether or not I have passengers with me, the purpose of the driving and whether there is stress involved. Predicted pancake time: 30-120 minutes depending on the length and level of familiarity
• Getting frustrated, such as when an idea is not progressing, a problem is not getting solved, a project is not materializing, communication isn’t working, etc. Predicted pancake time: varies
• Lack of sleep – affects my stamina with all aspects of my day, by decreasing resilience and increasing the tendency for emotional overwhelm. Predicted pancake time: may evolve into full-on sleep

I would call the above ‘classic pancake predicators’ but there are more nuanced events over the course of the week if I care to notice and listen.

Benefits of Awareness

What’s the value in identifying these factors?

• I can mentally prepare myself for things that I know will be taxing
• I can be real with myself, honestly acknowledging patterns and triggers, and work on my self acceptance
• I can be strategic: the more I’m aware of my patterns, the more I can plan for things. Should I be taking a water bottle with me? Headphones? Have I eaten beforehand? Is my clothing cool or warm enough? How much sleep did I get last night? Are there things specific to the situation that would help such as bringing a grocery cart instead of having to carry heavy bags, etc.
• Awareness can lead to compassion: If I can understand what is going on, can I offer compassion towards myself and for the situation I’m in?
• I can celebrate rest and mental recalibration! I can eschew hustle culture and set an example of self-care in my home. I can find real value in self care

Whether or not you can relate to any of the above, I hope that you have your own methods of unwinding and resetting that are specific to you. I’m always happy to hear about them!