Long-time readers of my articles might know that I’ve historically felt a sense of stigma around vacations. Although I have been privileged to enjoy adventures in the past decade like going to the Yukon and Haida Gwaii, about I’m not an international traveler and my holidays have been pretty modest over the years. I don’t mind seeing new places—in fact I kind of like it—but for a variety of reasons, vacationland hasn’t worked out in the past while.

Although I went on some sea planes as a kid, and a trip in a small plane in grade 9 where I was flown to Prince George to talk about my experiences growing up in an alcoholic family, I went on my first big plane leaving for first year university which to me was super scary, as it also coincided with leaving home for the first time. It was a lot to process. But I digress.

Maybe it’s stigma, maybe it’s a bit of amnesia, and maybe it’s plain ‘ol unresolved baggage, but I’ve repeatedly written  about this topic and each time I seem to want to write about my “different” summer holidays as if I’m writing about them for the first time. Sheesh.

A New Take on Something Old

So, this year I had another one of those brainwaves and thought that I could write about what some people might consider one of the worst or most boring holiday experiences: using my vacation time to work at reorganizing my house. And yes, it makes me extremely happy and yes, I did use the word “work.”

But in case you are thinking that I am suggesting that you should do the same thing, let me be clear: I am not (unless that also makes you happy). Societal ideas about productivity and capitalist ideals do not apply here. There are a number of reasons, which I’ll get into, below, but the overarching theme is that I am organizing to benefit my neurodivergent brain and because of it. And the idea of helping my family’s neurodivergent brains is a huge motivator too.

As some of you know, I’ve battled my demons over the years when it comes to cleaning . I lived in a slovenly manner for all of my 20s and most of my 30s. My brain could not handle beyond the demands of raising young children and starting and running my practice. Sleep was a luxury, cleaning and organizing were not.

And some of you also know that I’m a very late-diagnosed multiply neurodivergent person who had no idea until 5 years ago and subsequently began learning that I needed to take practical action steps to start living in ways that actually benefit my brain. Unknowingly (although sometimes out of necessity) I had been working against it  and wondering why my anxiety and frustration levels were so high.

Last Summer, for my birthday, I had been gifted one of Marie Kondo’s newest books which brought me back to a period in my 40s, where, with her guidance, I divested of about 1/3 of my household’s belongings. And it made a huge difference. But it also came with some stress over things that I could neither get right or maintain, such as perfectly folded clothes and no visual clutter. Part of me felt happy with the changes but part of me also felt discouraged in the subsequent years as I saw that I could never be Marie Kondo—or even her essence.

But then something clicked for me when I approached a long-time desire to be organized with bespoke specificity: could I organize in a way that is built for my brain plus also uses my strengths in problem-solving and pattern recognition too? When I found that the answer was “yes,” I knew then that the seed of my motivation was born!

I talk a ton with my neurodivergent clients about using self-accommodations to make our relationship with the world less abrasive and I thought to myself, why couldn’t I apply this strategy with my living space?

What Won’t Work For Me

So, as I love to do, I started my research. In this process I found that there were a lot of ideas around organizing that would not work for my brain or my family’s, such as:

• Everything matching storage bins, as this would involve a huge upfront expense and require me to thrift all my existing unmatched bins which felt sad, unnecessary and way too much work
• Everything must be “pretty” to be restful to the mind. Do humans live here? While this may look nice online, I know that this isn’t for me, recalling the time that I once went to a therapy office that was so highly Pinterest-worthy that I felt scared to lean back on the couch, and sat there, perched, for the entire session
• Tucked-away storage, because for me, out of sight is not only out of mind, it means that these items no longer exist
• Ridding myself of anything that does not ‘spark joy.’ While I actually still really like keeping my favourite items and giving things away that cause stress there are some items that are not joy- inducing, but handy. Hello toilet plunger. And maybe I want more than one in my home so I don’t have to retrieve it from a different bathroom
• Pressuring myself to maintain household routines that would not realistically allow me to participate in life
• “Training” family members to adopt detailed organizational practices. One YouTube video extolled the merits of laying cutlery on its side in the cutlery drawer and “educating” family members to do the same. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

What Should My Reasons Be?

I love a puzzle. I really do. I love to solve problems, but in my life as a therapist, when it comes to people’s situations, that’s not necessarily appropriate. Conversely, with objects and systems, many times one can jump right into them and go straight to problem-solving: Why is a household system not working as it should and is there a creative fix that will solve multiple issues at once?

• Ease over beauty. What if I could access the belongings I needed when I needed them with as little effort as possible? What if all belongings had a home and room to move in relation to one another?
• Systems should be evolvable: If I fix a problem or create a new system and it doesn’t work, this is not a failure but rather a chance to problem-solve further and try out a new idea. It’s an opportunity for creativity and letting go of perfectionism
• Being alone in my home. When family members are busy during the day, and I am by myself, it is an opportunity to just be in my own flow state, without answering to others temporarily
• Doing something tangible with a more defined result. It’s a different kind of workout for my brain

These reasons have been essential for maintaining my motivation through this process. And adding to this, I also remind myself that none of these household things are an emergency. It’s not a stop-the-flood sandbagging situation but a one-step-at-a-time, long-range puzzle. There are no deadlines and no pressure. I am on vacation, right?

What is Working So Far

• Every brain and situation is different – we call it neuroDIVERSITY for a reason. What works for me may not work for you, and there are things that are helpful for me now that may not be helpful to me in the future. Needs change
• All things should have a home and when I don’t know what its home should be, it can be fun to try to figure it out. And sometimes this can be a sign that if we never engage with the thing, someone else might benefit from it more
• Objects’ homes should not compete for space. If you have to go on a hunt to find and use an object, after all that effort, one probably won’t take the time to put away it afterwards and then, over time, a mess ensues. When using necessary things isn’t easy, to me, it’s a sign to part with some less useful surrounding items
• As above, things should be easy to put back. We’re often more motivated to find things and way less motivated to put them away
• Multiples of things can be great! I like to have scissors in my office, in the kitchen and in the utility area. I’m lazy and don’t want to hunt around and make the act of gathering supplies, frustrating
• As above, I now like to have things where I need and use them–keeping them in the room of my home that makes most sense
• Sometimes objects and their placement only make sense to oneself. I like having my yarn in my online therapy office because it makes me happy to look at it in between sessions, even though I don’t knit in the office. Plus, it would feel weird to have my yarn in a communal space. Having my own yarn stash feels personal and not a family thing
• Keep things in view. Unless it occurs to you that your belongings might exist elsewhere, seeing them can be critical to using them and making them visible can also help prevent double -or triple-buying
• And if you tuck something away and don’t find it for a long time, you may have a delightful surprise in your future, which can, admittedly, be exciting
• Embrace vertical storage. I love a good wall, the back of door, or tension rods mounted up high to store stuff. And a shout-out to tension rods and Command-style hooks: they’re cheap-ish and moveable
• Parting with sentimental things that stress me out is hard but ultimately very relieving. A good friend took my china collection that was started for me when I was a kid. I kind of liked it at the time but ultimately it was not my vision and over time, this collection became a burden. I now have space to put dishes I use much more often

I do plan on taking vacation time away where I’m not working, although I’m not convinced that decluttering and organizing is work, to me, in the traditional sense. If it became like that I’d probably stop, so I might as well keep it fun, leisurely and low pressure!